Dear Fellow Parents, 

There is no doubt that this is a challenging time to be a parent. How do we make the best decisions about what is best for our kids, in an unprecedented time in history? If there were ever a time that we are called to pay attention to our kids’ needs, and to find a balance between our logical brain, parent’s heart, and gut instinct, that time is upon us right now. And new situations call for new solutions. 

I am the parent of a bright, creative, artistic, insightful, funny, and social 13-year-old daughter. She is an only child in a two-household family. Her dad and I have each been working from home since March. 

Although I am sharing this from my perspective and experience as a parent, I also come from a background in education and psychology. I have taught and counseled middle school, high school, and college students, taught Child & Adolescent Counseling at the graduate level, and as of this year have been in private practice as a psychotherapist for twenty years. Naturally, that colors my view. 

Last Spring when school went online, I watched my daughter try to connect to middle school life through the only avenue available, the computer. We expanded her screen-time so that she could at least see her friends virtually. As the weeks went on, so did the monotony, and the absence of normal interactions with friends, classmates, and teachers became – especially for an only child – a heavy burden. It was painful to see a once lively kid now sitting at the dining room table with her head in her hands, trying to make the best of a bad situation, and feel, as a parent, that I had no options to offer. 

We hoped that by summer, the virus would be tamed and she could go to the summer day camp she’d attended for the past few years. That was not to be. 

We live in a community that has made the national news for anti-mask protests. Under the circumstances, I do not feel comfortable sending her to an environment where the population reshuffles daily. The prospects for her summer looked quite bleak. 

Then a parent friend mentioned something about the safety bubble that some sleep-away camps had been able to create. I quickly began researching. Long story short, my daughter ended up spending three weeks at Swift Nature Camp in Northern Wisconsin, and happily did two weeks of full quarantine and daily temperature taking to be able to go. 

To say this was a drastic departure for all of us is an enormous understatement! She had never been to overnight camp, and in fact, was never big on going to sleepovers at all. Yet, I put her on a bus, alone, to a place I’d never seen, to be supervised by people I’d never met, for three weeks! It was a chance for her to have the freedom to be a kid. 

New situations call for new solutions. 

Research shows that the social aspect of these childhood years is critical in the formation of self-esteem and self-mastery. For a kid, it’s the feeling that I can learn and grow, I know what I can do, and I can be trusted to do it. How kids come to see themselves is connected to how they are seen and acknowledged by others. They learn who they are and who they want to be during these years. This is the time of life when they begin to move away from us in increments that help them grow. What will become of this generation of kids who cannot even leave the house? This worries me, for my child, and for all children. 

I was not ready to send her back to the school building this fall for the same reason I couldn’t send her to the day camp. But the thought of her—again—spending months glued to a screen and calling that  “school” is terrible too. 

So, when Swift Nature Camp offered a Fall Camp option, it felt like a brilliant relief!  

Here is a chance to do online school, yet be outdoors having fun with other kids, and rather than suffering with monotony and loneliness, to have an extraordinary experience! 

Yes it is expensive. But, here is how I see it. There are times when it cost more money to take care of our kids. Our family used to spend about $1,000 per month on day care and diapers. And that was over ten years ago! 

The Fall Camp offers a once-in-a-lifetime experience, to have a “normal” kid experience, life free from many stressors, and an exceptional adventure, rather than being limited and constricted. This is a chance to be free and adventurous and learn new things, a chance to be outdoors soaking up all the wonderful aspects of nature, instead of being stuck inside alone. In my logical mind, parent’s heart, and trusty gut, a “once in a lifetime experience” is worth maxing out the credit card for. 

And I know that the 8-week time period seems like a long time. I’ve heard parents say that they can’t imagine having their child gone so long. I understand this, and I will definitely miss my daughter a LOT – but, if I can provide her an opportunity to have an exceptional experience, that feels to me like part of my responsibility as a parent. 

In other words, I do feel it is my job to “suck it up,” so to speak, and let her go have the freedom to run and yell and hike and kayak and canoe and play Capture the Flag and fall into bed exhausted from fresh air. I can’t give her that right now. But Swift Nature Camp CAN. 

My parents grew up during the Great Depression, and it was a point of reference for them for their entire lives, and for me too, as it affected how they saw the world. Covid-19 will always be a point of reference for our kids in the same way. What will that mean for them? For us, as parents, I believe it means that new situations call for new solutions, and it is our job to use absolutely everything we have to help them through this time. 

Sincerely, 

Dianne 

Dianne Frances, MFA, MS, LPC, NCC

Board Certified Psychotherapist