But this is still praise isn't it? I thought praise was supposed to be bad. What are we supposed to do instead? Arrggghhh!
As I am putting together the final preparations for my upcoming Art Of Intentional Parenting tele-seminar, I have been reflecting a great deal on the struggles modern parents have to find the way to do it right.
This Ain't The 70s:
Like many of you, I was raised at the end of the "spare the rod, spoil the child" era (they allowed corporal punishment in my school until I turned 12), then was educated professionally in the beginning of the self-esteem "I am loveable and special" era of the 1980s and 1990s.
I was also raised in an era when religion still mattered and it was socially acceptable to teach kids that right and wrong and morality were not about individual preference.
Lastly, I was raised in an era when the standard upbringing and education would prepare us to make a needed contribution in the workplace. Mostly employers didn't need our creativity and unique contributions our gifts and talents could offer them. They just needed our willingness to play our role.
Our children are not being raised in any of those eras.
Knowing how to parent them is not just a matter of "so they will grow up to be good, successful people." It now must be about "So they will be prepared to thrive in spite of the chaos and instability of the modern world."
By the end of this tele-seminar, you will think differently not just about how you parent, but about what your role needs to be as a parent in the 21st Century - different and far greater than it was for our parents when they raised us.
This critical piece of input you will receive here, will position you to give your children a serious edge in these turbulent times.
Failing to make this adjustment though almost certainly leaves them on course for years, if not decades, of unnecessary frustration and disappointment.
Just ask many of the recent college graduates and 20somethings who are now experiencing what it's like to have done everything right, earned degrees from top schools, been told they are special, only to find the world not only doesn't owe them a thing, it isn't going to hand them anything.
I know this may sound harsh, but it is the growing reality for those who are still following the outdated parenting practices that most experts out there still readily encourage and endorse.
A professor of mine in college used to say, "The truth will set you free." I've since discovered that the truth can also empower you, if you let it.
It will certainly empower your children.
PS: There are three more days to take advantage of the EARLY REGISTRATION DISCOUNT. The tele-seminar series begins Thursday November 3rd. Remember, you do not need to be available to listen live. All calls are recorded and will be available for participants to listen to on-demand.
Register here --> http://leiken.com/parenting
|Did you read the piece in the NY Times yesterday about how "Too Much Praise Is Not Good For Toddlers"? You may wonder why an article about toddlers is relevant to you, but I assure you it is.
You may be familiar with the study about how praising children for being "smart" or "intelligent" sets them up for disappointment and self-confidence issues when they become teens - when natural intelligence alone won't be enough to keep getting them A's. The study instead encouraged praising effort and hard work. It found that those who were raised this way instead, consistently performed better in school.